Oozing Goo - The Lava Lamp Syndicate

Big surprise today, well yesterday actually, I was getting itchy- I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM! I CAN STOP ANY TIME I WANT, MOM! I was googling lava lamps and an ad showed up for Target. Well I thought for sure it was a re-seller thing. Target Online is trying to be Amazonian. But no, the web site said they were in stock at a store near me. So I went there. Looked around, no lava. So I ripped up my man card and I asked for help. The clerk said that they probably just haven't put them out yet, and that they get a small batch in every year along with the college back to school items like bean bag chairs and foot lockers. They would probably be on the shelf next week. A WEEK? I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG. I NEED A FIX NOW, MAN! So I though, if Target has them.... maybe Walmart has them too. So I googled and sure enough my local Walmart had a small batch. 11in clear/red and 14in blue/white & blue/green. Green is not my color and I already have a blue/white. So I picked up a pair of clear/red. Not being a fool, I inspected the merch before checking out. They were perfect. Crystal clear, no dents, never turned on. $10 each. Of course now I'm going to have to get another smart switch to control them. But it's fine when one habby feeds the other. DAMN IT, MOM, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM! Hey, can I borrow $20? The cat wants food again.  

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I can relate


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