Oozing Goo - The Lava Lamp Syndicate

Schylling Quality Control Part 3 - Beating A Dead Horse

I removed my first two quality control posts and combined them into this one.  I really wanted to give the company a chance, as they kept sending replacements for their defective, poorly made products.  

I recently contacted Schylling again after purchasing a dead Bob Marley lamp.  The goo just sat domed in a blob on the bottom of the lamp and never moved.  They said that lamp was "imported" to Spencers and they don't carry any "Spencers stock" in their warehouse.  Just another terrible decision from this terrible company.  They don't even carry any products sold by a large brick and mortar retailer.  

They agreed to send a 16.3" lamp as a replacement.  Here is the lamp I received, with the shattered bulb still in place and a pic of the lamp next to it's box and a few other working lamps, to show what a POS it is.  It is so cloudy you can barely see the goo.  The shattered bulb resulted in glass which was very hard to detect, floating around the bubble wrap that surrounded the cap.  Some glass shards had also fallen into the bottom of the base and had to be shaken out over a trash can.  This makes 4 or 5 lamps I have received that have had broken bulbs.  This is a serious liability just waiting to happen.  

My brand new replacement lamp is shown sitting next to the box.  Purple water?  My lamp has hot pink very cloudy water.  What a POS.  The cap on the top just floats around and is not even made to sit securely.  It just balances on the bottle cap.  What poorly made, cloudy, Chinese shit.

Let's recap my Schylling experience, since I started collecting around Thanksgiving of last year.

1)  Schylling replaced a lamp I bought on Amazon, where the bulb was shattered and the tri-colored globe was scratched all around the bottom of the globe. 
2) I bought a metallic lamp, with black lava in red liquid.  The liquid is really orange, but I still love the color combo.  The metallic base would rub away with just a slight touch! Schylling could not replace this lamp, since they do not stock Spencer's lamps in their warehouse, so they sent a replacement black base, which doesn't even match the lamp!  I couldn't return the globe, since no close Spencers had a replacement and Schylling does not keep any Spencer's lamps in their warehouse.  I wanted to keep the color combo of the globe.  Customer service fail.  

3) I bought a Bob Marley lamp, where the wax was dead and just sat in a dome on the bottom.  Again, since Schylling never has any Spencers lamps at their warehouse, they agreed to send a 16.3" lamp as a replacement.  The 16.3 inch replacement is nothing but cloudy, defective junk that arrived with glass shards spread throughout the box and packaging, as the pics above show.  My percentage of good lamps from this joke of a company is around 25%.  

4) Many of the other lamps I have bought from this company run so hot they have to be put on a dimmer.  An hour after starting to flow, the goo rises to the top and stays there.  Once the lamps are dimmed, they flow properly.  

Schylling sucks and produces nothing but poorly made rubbish.   It seems like every lamp replacement I receive is worse than the one before.

I RELALY want a Grande, but there is no way I am spending $100 to receive a cloudy pile of junk that I will have to return a few times, just to get a good one, or dump to re-make myself.

I am sticking to buying $5 dead lamps on Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace and remaking them.  At least I, UNLIKE SCHYLLING, can make a clear lamp that works well.  

Why can I make clear, well-flowing lamps in my little basement lab and Schylling can't produce a decent lamp if their life depended on it?  It really sucks to see an iconic brand driven into the ground by an incompetent corporate giant.  If Schylling needs a recipe for clear lamps that flow well, I would gladly sell them the recipe I use.  This lamp pictured below is way better than any of the crap I have purchased from Schylling or lamps they say are "imported" to Spencers.  

In addition to their Chinese lamps being pure rubbish, they appear to have not taken an interest in the displays of what I think is their largest retailer, Spencer Gifts.  Here is a display I shot at a Spencers.  Half the large display is empty, half the lamps that are present aren't even flowing properly or aren't even flowing at all.  Who would look at this display and want a lamp?  "Hey Mom, can I get the one with the lava stuck at the top, or the other one where the lava sits in a motionless blob at the bottom?"

I have been in about 6 or 7 Spencers mall stores in the last few month.  Only one had a really great looking display that was maintained well.  I would think Schylling would take great interest in such a large brick and mortar retailer of their products.  Sadly, that does not seem to be the case, from what I have experienced.  I would think the first year after acquiring Lava would be filled with exciting new announcements, new products, blah blah blah.  Nothing.  Almost all of the Spencers I have visited still have lamps from before Schylling bought the company, telling me those lamps have sat and taken up space for way over a year.  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   Do they ever send a company rep out to visit any of these places, to check the displays and try to get management and staff of the stores to be excited about selling their products?  That is what a good company would do.  Instead, the sad display pictured above paints a pretty clear picture of the state of lava lamps, thanks to Schylling.  Sad, but true.  

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Flow is very important to lava fans.  That said it is subjective too, while I (and I suspect most fans) prefer that varied,  snaky, stretchy, serpentine flow I know a few folks who do like the round blob type of flow.  Also the ability to leave a lamp on for long hours (days even) with flow that does not over heat and fail, thus needing a cool off, is a real plus.  

Flow matters in glitter too.  Some people like, slow flow of some lamps and other people like fast moving glitter.  Me I am not a big glitter fan but where glitter is concerned I prefer slow moving, tumbling glitter flow.  


Man you are NEVER going to see  a crap china lamp have one flow going up and one going down with those long tendrils.  Have a USA flag lamp pre- China crap, that does this all day long.  That is my kinda of flow.  Will not speak for others, to each their own.  But, I will NEVER own a Chinese made crap lamp, one ball up....one ball down.  Yeah, there is a real collector's lamp.  JMHO.  Enjoy!  :P

I finally heard back from Schylling again.  They are sending a replacement for the replacement.  They are going to do some "quality control" first, to try to get me a lamp that actually works.  lol

I am not holding my breath.  

This will be the 4th replacement I have been sent for defective lava lamps in 4 months.  Schylling is a pathetic company that knows it is producing shit products and they just don't care.  

I wonder if the new 16.3 I am being sent will be the same quality as this pile of junk, pictured below?  The top cap just rests on the bottle cap.  A yawn will cause it to float over to the side.  It is amazing that this company has owned Lava for more than a year and has done nothing about the pure shit that is their Chinese product.  They know their product is pure crap and THEY KNOW THEIR PRODUCT IS DANGEROUS.  They know many of their lamps are shipped with broken bulbs, with glass shards all over the inside of the box.  They admitted that to me in one email.  They said they are packaging the bulbs differently now, but they are still shipping (and not recalling) all the old stock with the very hazardous broken glass.  They just don't care.   Sounds like a class action lawsuit to me.  4 of the 5 lamps I bought online arrived with broken glass.  I really hate this company.

Huh... I remember when I bought China lamps new back in the mid- to late-2000s they always had the bulb wrapped in a bubble wrap sleeve tucked into the base. I had never seen them already screwed in the socket. Seems like that would obviously shatter with a firm bump to the box. Weird how things have gone backwards with their products since the Schylling acquisition. What a shame.

BaBa-Gooey said:

They know many of their lamps are shipped with broken bulbs, with glass shards all over the inside of the box.  They admitted that to me in one email.  They said they are packaging the bulbs differently now, but they are still shipping (and not recalling) all the old stock with the very hazardous broken glass.  They just don't care. 

I occasionally got lamps with the bulbs screwed in from Spencers

Rarely Lava Lamp

Obviously, they were display models

This is the 5th replacement that Schylling has sent me, since I became a collector 6 months ago.  Around 50% of the new lamps I have bought (10-12 of them) have been defective in one way or another.

As I have pointed out with past posts and pics, their products are beyond trash.  I believe it is fraudulent for them to sell lamps they know are of terrible quality, many with boxes full of broken glass. 

My new replacement for the last bad replacement arrived yesterday.  The one before it was 9 on a cloudy scale.  This one is a 4.  Not as bad, but still murky.  It also has a large horizontal wax smear towards the bottom of the globe.  And the goo is FULL of bubbles.  See the pics.  One was taken with a flash and one without.  

This lamp was sent to me under the orders of a Customer Service manager at Schylling.  It arrived with the bulb screwed in, which they know results in breakage in a large percentage of lamps.  They don't care.  This is the first time in 5 lamps I have received in the mail with screwed in bulbs where the bulb was not broken.  

I wonder what their response will be when they hear that another replacement lamp they sent out was a pile of cloudy, bubbly, wax smeared, shit?


The conclusion of this mountain of bad merchandise is both sad and pathetic.

1) I bought a bad lamp from Schylling thru Amazon.  One of my first lava purchases.  The multi-colored globe had multiple scratches along with a shattered bulb (Replaced)

2) A few weeks later, I bought a metallic lamp from Spencers with a bad base. The paint/finish rubbed off with slight finger pressure - They couldn't replace the base, as they didn't have the color in stock, so Schylling sent me a generic black base as a replacement for my red metallic base.  It is not the right one, but I didn't bitch as it worked and was not damaged.  Sigh.  This lamp originally arrived with a screwed in bulb that was broken and hard to remove.  Shards of glass were dispersed throughout the box and packaging.

3) I bought a Bob Marley Lamp that had completely dead wax.  No more were in stock, so Schylling sent me a 16.3 as a replacement.  The replacement was so cloudy, you couldn't even see the lava.  They said they would replace the replacement.  Sigh.  This one also had a screwed in bulb that was broken.  Shards of glass were all over the bubble wrap and hard to see and remove.  

4)The second 16.3 replacement was half as cloudy as the last one (still terrible) and also had a large wax smear inside the globe.  Unbelievable.  

5)  Schylling customer service basically said they have no good faith that they could ship me a lamp that works and is not damaged (how pathetic is that), so here is what I have been instructed to do.  

I am supposed to go buy a 16.3 at Spencers.  If it works, they will refund my money and that will be the replacement for the replacement for the replacement!  LOL  If it doesn't work, I am to keep returning the bad lamps to Spencers until I get a good one!!  Then we will do the refund and call it a day!!  

6)  I have now received 5 defective lamps, out of 11 I that carry the Schylling name.  I now have to go visit a local Spencers to find my own working replacement, since Schylling can't send one from their own warehouse that actually works and is not damaged or defective.  The Customer Service rep was supposed to have my last replacement checked for quality control.  It has a huge wax smear inside the globe.  It is still there, after a week of cycling.  Quality control?

7) WTF?  Who operates a business like this?

Two more of the 11 lamps I have bought either at retail stores of online have arrived with broken bulbs.  I didn't complain about those, because those lamps worked.

First time since I was a kid that I started collecting something and I pick a product that sucks.  At least I can continue to buy Chinese junk and remake the lamps that don't work, with my own wax and colors.  I now have a dozen I have remade and they all work great!  

Why can I make a lamp that works and is not cloudy, but Schylling can't?  

After more than a year of owning this brand, I have no faith they will do anything but continue to destroy a once great and iconic brand.  

Rant over.

Sound like a string of bad luck,

I just got a 16.3 in this week to dump out and replace with a custom color for a client, and it came in perfectly clear and undamaged

Awww.  You poured out a good one????????????  That makes my heart hurt.  :(  

I have two 16.3's here that are absolute garbage,. 

Claude J said:

Sound like a string of bad luck,

I just got a 16.3 in this week to dump out and replace with a custom color for a client, and it came in perfectly clear and undamaged

I put the yellow/blue my colossus I'm redoing since that is the color scheme it currently has

Here  is the end result of the redo

BaBa-Gooey said:

Awww.  You poured out a good one????????????  That makes my heart hurt.  :(  

I have two 16.3's here that are absolute garbage,. 

Claude J said:

Sound like a string of bad luck,

I just got a 16.3 in this week to dump out and replace with a custom color for a client, and it came in perfectly clear and undamaged

That looks great.


it's really turquoise.

The cameras flash change it a bit

the flow is outrageous

BaBa-Gooey said:

That looks great.

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