For my goohead friends, some porno...

[Jeff Neely]

I am quite the nerdy loser with the lava lamp collection. I am certain that you, my good friends, can add many lines to this list, but this, in no particular order, is a sample checklist for collectors on their progression towards being a complete loser as I am:

- I purchased lamp number ten.

- I spent many hours actively searching ebay, then craigslist, then newspaper classifieds and foreign ebays (and on and on and on...) looking for a score. I still do.

- I bought my first icon.

- I NEEDED a tenth Grande to balance the shelf.

- I cried real tears and experienced real depression in the great Christmas crash of 2014.

- I ran out of shelves.

- I tripped breakers in the house because I was running too many lamps.

- I began the superhero shelf. And the rock and roll shelf. And the homemade shelf. And the...

- I realized that, as I am an ass man, I am also a goo man. I just don't care for glitter lamps.

- I reached a point where I have seasonal lamps I only break out at Halloween or Christmas and such...

- I did my first gookit.

- I joined this here club on the internet to find other likeminded nerds.

- I learned to envy those with lamps from Europe and I take pride in the fact I have made a few other collectors jealous with some of my prizes.

- I realized that every lamp has its own personality and flow style and I describe them as if they are alive.

- I have spent an amount for a lamp I just HAD to have that left me a little ashamed.

- I stopped giving anything other than lava lamps as gifts years ago. Birthdays, weddings, housewarmings... All get lava lamps (And I tend to turn them on when I go to my friend's houses to visit.)

- I somehow accumulated spare parts...Lots of them. I also have lamps I have never opened and bought "for the collection".

- I made my first custom lamp - a 750ml Ciroc bottle.

- I have made plans for one of those 8 ft. tall ones in the same manner of fantasy I made plans to win the lottery or get Elizabeth Shue naked. (Boy, that sure shows my age!)

- I reached a point where I began rotating the lamps around the house all the time to have fresh views and appreciation for all of them.

- I have somehow gathered a huge box of bulbs.

- I scored our first Colossus. And later a second and third in the great January LAVA giveaway of 2013. And now number four which is what I am actually getting to today...

Not too long ago I found a Humongo for sale on Craigslist. It is black/clear and the base and cap is the black granite covering. I posted it here and no one bit (I suppose because the posting was asking for $5k?) so I called the person up and offered $800. She agreed so long as I did the work so I set up a shipper to pick it up and pay for it for me and, one week and $1200 total later I had number four in the house here in Texas.

I knew when I bought it that it was in bad shape but I also had hope that the photo made it look worse than it would be in person.

No such luck. That black wax has bled into the liquid so bad that it can only be seen through if I put a bright-enough-to-see-mars flashlight behind it.

Because I like to share with my fellow losers, I always said that if I ever did a gookit on one I would share it as I did it. I know I am not the first to share such a thing, but we all got a kick out of another one a few years ago so I am going to share my experience here with my friends.

Here is all the gear...

I hope this works...

[Tim]

I would keep it if I were you. I had 2 Colossi (but they were the same color). I sold one of them a while back and now I kinda wish i had kept it. Oh well.